With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

I decided to sell my drawings. However, I didn't want people to buy my drawings because the professor of physics isn't supposed to be able to draw - isn't that wonderful - so I made up a false name.

If women have young children, they are one man away from welfare.

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

When it comes to brains, size matters. It's not all that matters, of course. Whales and dolphins have brains that are larger than humans', but few of the flippered and fluked set win tenure at Stanford. Our brains are the largest in proportion to body size, and they're also highly sophisticated.