humor Quotes

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

My favorite animal is steak.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.