humor Quotes

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

I once belonged to a health club, where it cost me £2,000 a year to amble on a treadmill for half an hour a week and sit and read Grazia in the cooling-off area.

From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked.

I know that I'm going to die and that you're going to die. I can't do anything about that. But I can explore it through a metaphor and make a kind of funny, dark story about it, and in doing so, really exhaust and research as many aspects of it as I can imagine. And in a way, that does give me some closure.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.