humor Quotes

We don't have friends, so we watch 'Friends' on TV.

There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it.

Laughter is a uniting force, it brings people together, and it makes hardship easier.

I done wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale; handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalised a brick; I'm so mean I make medicine sick.

I'm the most recognized and loved man that ever lived cuz there weren't no satellites when Jesus and Moses were around, so people far away in the villages didn't know about them.

I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.

You think the world was shocked when Nixon resigned? Wait till I whup George Foreman's behind.

I should be a postage stamp, because that's the only way I'll ever get licked. I'm beautiful. I'm fast. I'm so mean I make medicine sick. I can't possibly be beat.

Sonny Liston is nothing. The man can't talk. The man can't fight. The man needs talking lessons. The man needs boxing lessons. And since he's gonna fight me, he needs falling lessons.

Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the U.S. Bureau of Wild Life.