humor Quotes

The best thing about getting a flu shot is that you never again need to wash your hands. That's how I see it.

Portland is quickly becoming one of those lovely, lush Third World countries where kinda-rich people retire with their money.

Every author has to eventually write a food book.

I try to tell a story the way someone would tell you a story in a bar, with the same kind of timing and pacing.

There are people out there who will not read books, but somehow they'll read my books.

A good story should make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart.

My publisher's been shipping me to comic-cons, and it seems that my readership overlaps perfectly with the comic-con crowd.

Crap has always happened, crap is happening, and crap will continue to happen.

I have a lot of fans who are in the prison system, where ramen noodles are a kind of staple. Prisoners are always sending me recipes.

If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better movie.