humor Quotes

When people laugh at Mickey Mouse, it's because he's so human; and that is the secret of his popularity.

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.

Indigestion is charged by God with enforcing morality on the stomach.

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

Puns are the droppings of soaring wits.

Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind and I like to write standing up.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.