humor Quotes

When good Americans die they go to Paris.

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose.

What we have to do, what at any rate it is our duty to do, is to revive the old art of Lying.

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it... I can resist everything but temptation.

Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.