humor Quotes

She laughs at everything you say. Why? Because she has fine teeth.

What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car?

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!

We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation.

There are no secrets better kept than the secrets everybody guesses.